21st Century Crisis

I'm so over food. I mean, what is it with this stuff? Is it really necessary to consistently refuel this body of mine three or more times a day? It just seems really fucking inefficient and yet another hurdle as I struggle to fulfill my posthuman future fantasy. The information singularity is the most exciting and anticipated near future event occurring in my lifetime, a technological event horizon from which there will be no return. And I'll probably be washing the dishes when it occurs. How the fuck am I supposed to prepare for this amazing and unpredictable event if I'm overwhelmed by monotonous minutiae unchanged for all of human evolution. Fuck you food! Get out of my exponentially changing future you unevolved human energy delivery system.

You know I find food so time consuming and irrelevant and.... erm... unfortunately, necessary. But for fucks sake, there has to be a better way to do this. It appears that I am either eating, buying or preparing food. Either that or else I'm thinking about the damn stuff. They're only calories for fucks sake, why isn't there a pill I can take that supplies all my energy needs?

I've been an avid reader of science fiction all my life and have been in awe of the future and the wonders I have been promised, the problems solved, the problems created. Well the future is here now and it's very fucking disappointing. Where the hell is my nutritionally balanced food alternative in an easy to swallow pill form? It can't be that difficult can it? And where's my bloody warp drive? It was in the brochure, I saw it  just over the page from the hover car.

Hmm, I am so over food.I really am. So over it. But I'm not stupid. I respect the scientific method and accept the objective and peer reviewed food theories that the scientific method has gifted to the world. I truly do respect the theory that you can live on food, but emphatically request that science create something more efficient, something radical and exciting and modern. A human energy delivery system that the 21st century can be proud of.

The future is coming and it looks beautiful, if only it would hurry up and get here while I'm still alive.


Just Today in a Galaxy Far far Away From a Galaxy Far Far Away

I met this chap today half way between Albany and Denmark. He was a long way from his home in Perth, having spent the last month walking south, pushing his trolley, wearing his full Storm Trooper uniform and raising money for The Starlight Foundation. He intends to spend a few days in Albany before walking east towards the completion of his self funded journey to Sydney.

I was moved by his determination to raise money for this great charity that endeavours to make the wishes of terminally ill children come true. I emptied my pockets and came up with a meagre $7.40 to add to the $16000 he has already raised on his trek from Perth. I was so moved by his strength of purpose that I would have emptied my wallet for him, regardless of how much money it contained.

Unable to give anymore money I suggested he be my guest during his stay in Albany, offering him the use of my house and offering to feed him as he had been sleeping in his swag by the side of the road during his odyssey. There was no need as he has been welcomed by old family friends during this well earned r and r.
This is an incredibly inspirational young man, driven by a desire to do something for these terminally ill children, and making this incredibly difficult journey with an awesome sense of humour. I mean, for fucks sake, walking across Australia dressed as a Storm Trooper? That takes guts.

Before I left him 20 kms west of Albany I asked what gave him the power and strength to come up with such an amazingly original fund raising effort; had he lost a child to illness, a sibling or other relative, a friends child? It was none of these issues that drove him, it was a visit to The Starlight Foundation's rooms where he saw first hand the incredible work they do.

And Jacob's biggest desire for himself? He told me he really wanted to meet another inspirational person who by chance happens to be also visiting Albany tomorrow, non other than our first female Prime Minister, Julia Gillard.

I have just been buzzing since my random encounter with this great young man and I truly do wish him the very best in all his future endeavours.

This next picture proves that I didn't imagine meeting Jacob today.

The text of this article is a repost of a facebook upload I made today. Also, I apologize for the blue tinge of these pictures, I should open CS5 and do something about it, but I should also go to bed. Guess which of those choices I deemed to be most pressing.


The Department of Redundancy Department

Has it really been that long since I last posted?

This post wont be winning me back many readers either. It's just an excuse to use the above title which appeals to my snobby, intellectual sense of humour. I hope it appeals to yours.

Today's post is about Creationism and Intelligent Design. In fact I'm not going to be doing much talking, I'm just going to publish some pictures and links to articles. See if you can deduce which side of the fence I sit on; do I accept the Theory of Evolution as proposed by Charles Darwin, one of the greatest scientists ever to live, or do I follow the pseudo scientific ramblings of the cranks and crackpots who preach Creationism, Intelligent Design and Irreducible Complexity?
You be the judge!

There is a young man I see a few times a week in the line of my work. A friendly, pleasant, seemingly intelligent young man who unfortunately is a believer in Intelligent Design. A large part of his ammunition in the eternal fight against the evil Evolutionists is the statement "Evolution is just a theory".
What he can't seem to grasp is that Evolution, while being a theory, is actually a fact! His cognitive failing here is an incorrect and unfortunately widespread misunderstanding of the definition of the word "Theory".
In general usage the word theory means a guess or a conjecture, but when used in a scientific context, theory takes on a completely different meaning.
A simplified definition of the scientific use of the word theory would be that it refers to the current explanation for some kind of natural phenomenon. This doesn't mean it is a guess as to how people think it works, but a rigorously and scientifically tested, peer reviewed and verified explanation.
My young friend chooses not to accept my explanation as truth, instead the subject will be unsubtly shifted towards a discussion of the irrefutable "evidence" of Noah's Flood as shown by the strata present in the Grand Canyon. Now I've never visited the Grand Canyon, but I assumed it's present structure was the result of millions of years worth of layers of sedimentation being uplifted in the geological event that also created The Rockies, then being eroded by the Colorado River. Apparently not.
It's usually at this point that I politely make motions to leave. For even though I clearly believe that mankind's salvation lies within the embrace of science, I don't have to vehemently pronounce my beliefs to all and sundry, (Except in the public forum of the blogosphere.)
It seems to be the way with the religious types though. The pursuit of pseudo scientific Creationist beliefs and the associated attempts to discredit peer reviewed real science is not something to be approached half heartedly. You have to be prepared to be lambasted and thought of as a fool, you will have to retreat to the sanctity of your place of worship and only associate with your like minded fellow brethren. This must be why the God Botherers are thought of as fanatics.

All images used in this post are stolen off the web. Sorry to the owners if you don't want me to use them.



I had to look up Extirpation in the dictionary.
The Thesaurus has been extirpated.


Dry Clock

...And in other breaking news a tattoo shop is opening in the Spencer Park shopping centre. They are situated in the old Laundromat premises.
Imagine my surprise when I went to the newsagent this morning and saw Feral airbrushing the window next door. He said the newsagent wasn't very happy about their new enterprise, so to ease his mind I assured him that Maureen the newsagent is just a fucken bitch and not to worry about her too much.